I am so sick of online dating
Nobody gives me a fucking chance. He took a king can of beer out of his knapsack and chugged it there on the street. Am I too goddamn "broken" for you? Each bottle was about half full. He had a fabric handkerchief in his pocket and honked into it repeatedly. I might as well focus on getting a really awesome paying job and then just hooking up with gold diggers, right? Fucking people are assholes. I used to be fucking high on life. We seemed to have a lot in common, but within five minutes of meeting face to face, he uttered an anti-Semitic comment.
Fucking talk to me. Or you give one worded answers. I tried tongue-in-cheek next, which led to pizza with the Sniffly Librarian. I used to be really happy, actually. And he wore a tail. I ask you how you're doing, ask some questions, you know, and you just stop. I tried a lighthearted tone, with a bit of humour and ended up meeting the Contractor at 11 a. Am I too goddamn "broken" for you? Fucking people are assholes. Then a girl crushed all that, bla bla bla, here I am. Article Continued Below Ummm. Next, I tried a more serious, academic tone and that led to lunch with the Computer Programmer. Am I not entertaining? I'm sorry, am I too depressed for you? We did the usual coffee thing, which by that time already seemed like more effort than it was worth. I can't nail anyone down for a date. My final date was with the Advertising Guy. I just feel like I have so much more to offer. I might as well give the fuck up on ever being with anyone ever again. Like holy shit you could mold me into whatever you want at this point I'm so lonely. While I appreciate family bonds, reciting maternal verse was not the way to win me over. During our hour-long cappuccinos, Ad Guy emptied the contents of his Dockers pockets and gave me a detailed commentary on everything he carried: Each bottle was about half full. It's not my fucking fault I don't know what to talk about when you give me literally nothing to work with. It attracted a lawyer with a foot fetish who said he would buy me as many shoes as I wanted, provided I let him suck my toes. Well fuck you, how the fuck could I be anything else when every night I am alone in my room no matter what I try? He had a fabric handkerchief in his pocket and honked into it repeatedly.
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