What to expect when dating a recovering alcoholic
This can make it a bit more difficult for you, the non-sober significant other, to understand why your partner decided to cut out alcohol. What are your beliefs about addiction? Because recovery is a lifelong process, recovering addicts are in a perpetual state of self-improvement. You may hear wild stories of drug-fueled sexscapades or run into slippery characters from their past. SHARE After dating one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all — thoughtful, witty, responsible — and good-looking to boot. If you are in a relationship with someone who is sober, take the time to have a conversation with them about how your own drinking may or may not affect them. First, the recovering addict should have at least one year of sobriety, and preferably many more.
They may need to meet with a sponsor or attend support group meetings at inconvenient times and your support in encouraging them to do so is essential. They may have accrued debts, a criminal record or legal problems, or irrevocably damaged key relationships in their lives that make your interactions with their family and friends tenuous. Here are a few pieces of advice for this situation, coming from someone in recovery. Or maybe all your partner needs from you is for you to check in once in awhile and make sure they feel good and on track. But more often than not, they will probably be happy you asked because it reflects the fact that you care and are trying your best to understand them and their lifestyle. All of these can be difficult to understand, so you have to honestly evaluate and communicate your tolerance level. This assumption can be incredibly hurtful when coming from you, their partner. Have a conversation to set some ground rules. It really just depends on the person. Although research has refuted outdated assumptions about addiction, surveys have shown that people judge addicts even recovering ones more harshly than people struggling with obesity , depression and even schizophrenia. Is dating a recovering addict a deal-breaker for you? When you bring a recovering addict into your inner circle, their choices and lifestyle can have significant bearing not only on their health and well-being but also your own. This can depend on a number of factors, including how long your partner has been sober and how confident they are in their sobriety. If you are in a relationship with someone who is sober, take the time to have a conversation with them about how your own drinking may or may not affect them. Then they drop a bomb: Sometimes, if you have no personal experience with something such as addiction and recovery, it can be difficult to get on the same page as your partner. Ask questions you have them. Second, they should be actively working a program of recovery — attending meetings, volunteering, practicing self-care and so on — not just begrudgingly staying away from drugs and alcohol while addictive patterns fester. They have learned critical relationship skills, including how to identify, process and communicate their emotions and to set personal boundaries while respecting the lines drawn by others. If you move forward with the relationship, be aware of a few unique aspects of dating someone in recovery. Sometimes a person may decide to get sober, and then meets their partner and settles down. Some are deeply spiritual people whose lives are infused with meaning and purpose, while others volunteer in their communities or have interesting hobbies that keep them grounded. SHARE After dating one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all — thoughtful, witty, responsible — and good-looking to boot. Asking questions will help you gain a better understanding of your partner and likely make future discussions easier. You may hear wild stories of drug-fueled sexscapades or run into slippery characters from their past.
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